Peace is such a gift. The storm may rage on around you and the Savior can still help you feel peace. Things are improving so much with Spencer's leg. Reason tells me I should still be cautious, it came back before. But I feel peace. I do not know if this means it is over or if it means we will be OK no matter what. That is good because the trials keep coming.
Faith hurt her neck this week at school. It continued to bother her, so I had her wear my soft neck brace for a few days. Christian hurt his jaw when someone slammed into him during tag and his head hit his knees. Luke got out his stitches. Dallin's tonsils are still huge. He has complained of a lot of body aches lately. You would think we are in warfare. But Still, I cannot deny the peace.
This feeling of peace helped me when Aaron told me yesterday his company was bought out and they were all let go. Imagine the CEO telling you he is breaking off into a new company, the original company is being bought and the name of your company no longer exists. Then with a smile he says "You are all fired ..... Some of you, might, be hired by the new company." I imagine peace was not the feeling in the room.
I know some would say "OH CARINA, you guys just got back on your feet from the last unemployment! You have so much going on."
I know. But the Lord gave me peace. Aaron was worried how I would react. We have been through this many times before and a calm reaction is not always my first response. But quickly after Aaron started in August we realized something was going on at the company and have been trying to be prepared. Aaron has been talking to other companies and doing contract work on the side. So we are not without options, but it can be hard to continue to face an uncertain future. I wouldn't even talk about this, but Aaron posted it on Facebook. So I figured I could record my own feelings.
Like I said, I feel peace. The Lord has been aware that the burdens were piling high. I didn't mention our van was convulsing on the way to the Dr appt on Monday. Spencer said he could see Shock Waves running through my arms. He wasn't being mean. He was just observing the reactions to vibration. Still, remind me to do my arm exercises ;) We took our van in on Tuesday and paid $1800 in repairs. Another reason to feel stress, it is eating into our savings. But I feel peace.
Is it because I have lost it? Have I just gone numb and can't feel anymore? No, because I can certainly feel the peace. It is like liquid running through my soul. It is warm and feels so good.
I was thinking about this peace and suddenly music came into my head. "Peace fills my soul. The Lord is on my side." I realized the words did not match the song I was thinking of. The tune was "Be Still My Soul." I laughed a little and then realized how beautiful the words felt to that tune. It gives it a different meaning. He has already stilled my soul. He has filled it with peace. He is definitely on my side. The song is already so beautiful. I cannot even begin to improve upon it. Be Still My Soul's lyrics are a perfect lesson for my life. But the words that came to my mind help me see something extra. That even though the world is throwing things at me, PEACE FILLS MY SOUL, THE LORD IS ON MY SIDE.
Aaron wanted to go to the temple first thing this morning. He quickly checked a few things before he went. A sweet reassuring answer came when Aaron found an e-mail from his company & received a call on his cell phone to let him know they are very interested in keeping him. They are putting together some kind of offer. See no need for me to allow the worry to tear up my soul. The Lord filled it with peace and I will treasure that feeling for now.
